Don't Keep Things Bottled Up

Hey you guys! Tuesdays are for tips! And today's tip comes from a VERY recent experience....

Don't keep things bottled up.

For example, if you're with someone and they do something that bothers you or they say something you don't like, or hurt your feelings... TELL THEM. Don't hold it in. Be direct, but also, make sure that you tell them in a loving way. Because chances are, your might hurt their feelings, so when you tell them something you don't like, be respectful of their feelings.

For example if someone you're with (friend, family member, significant other, etc.) and they are chewing with their mouth open, saying something like, 'it's so nasty when people chew with their mouths open' (passive aggressive) or 'didn't your momma ever teach you that it's disgusting to chew with your mouth open' (rude) are NOT ways that you should go about it.

Instead, try something like, 'I don't want to sound rude but, why do you chew with your mouth open?' By asking them why they do it instead of telling them it's nasty or gross you're opening up the conversation between the two of you. Maybe they're teeth are bothering them, if they have an issue with a tooth, they could be chewing with their mouth open so they stop chewing on their cheek at the same time (I've been there before, cheek biting is NO fun) or maybe they don't even notice their doing it.

Anything that bugs you or bothers you about something someone does or says, if you have any type of relationship with them, and the thing they do bothers you to the point where you start to act differently with them, address it. because the last thing you want to is either let everything build up until you explode and possibly lose that person, or end up treating that person terribly because what they're doing bugs you and have them walk away and lose them. Either way, it's a lose lose situation for both parties and you're friend/family member/significant other won't even know what the issue is. They might get upset, but it's better for them to be upset now then to unload an atomic bomb on them later.

So if someone is doing something that bothers you;

1. Don't keep it bottled up. Tell them.

2. Be kind. How would you want someone to approach you? 

3. Be direct. Don't include everything they've ever done to annoy you.

4. Keep it short. Don't lecture the person. You wouldn't want a lecture, would you. 

5. End on a good note.

**Important Note: if you are in the middle of an arguement, DON'T start bringing things up from the past or unloading everything they've ever done to annoy you.